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Our top story tonight, ASB Elections take place on Monday, and Dave's 
News, without reservation, wholeheartedly endorses Dave Hines for 
Activities Director in its humble, enthusiastic and UNBIASED opinion.

Also, the PLNC Cafeteria next week plans to have Burrito and Pasta bars 
throughout the week.... (PAUSE).... OK, it's a slow news week....

In the face of new gift regulations for Congressmen, about a third of the 
House of Representatives' members declined cherry pies worth $6.75 each 
from a life insurance underwriter. Said Congressman, J. Tiernam 
Dunderhead, it's better to wait until they put $10,000 in small unmarked 
bills in the pie plates.

Following the incident where two unarmed Cessna planes were shot down by 
2 fighter jets for supposedly violating Cuban airspace, Fidel Castro 
responded to the threat of US sanctions by saying that Cuba and 
Washington were in a "Fatherland or Death" struggle. Great. Now he thinks 
he's Hitler.

NFL Referee Dale Hamer will be back on the job this season after missing 
last season due to surgery to fix a deteriorating valve in his heart. 
Funny, I didn't think referees HAD hearts.

We'll be right back, after this...
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We're back with Dave's News on KPLR AM 620

Hey, I got a letter here from our Station Manager, it says:

"Dear Dave,
	Even as a joke, you're not allowed to endorse yourself on air. 
We're gonna have to cut you off."

What?! I'm the most popular show on this station, you can't cut me off, 
I'll (cut off suddenly)

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