In Melvin's own words, his usual targets are conspiracy theories and religious brochures, although he does break his pattern to attack some truly stupid Star Trek parodies.
Subliminal Clams:
(aka "#1, YOUR SEXUAL PSYCHE & Corporape")
Mike and the 'bots (and unfortunately us) get treated to a nice piece of conspiracy tripe that follows this "logical" progression:
1. The author and his friends went to a restaurant.
2. He and most of the others ordered clams.
3. He hates clams.
4. Therefore, it must have been the subliminally depicted clam orgy on the artwork that made him order it.
Said and supposed author then goes on to blame subliminal advertising for all of man's woes. Also featured is a nut that cross-posted to virtually EVERY group on the USENET to deliver a 2 line non-sequitur insult return message.
Inalienable rights: what does that mean in practice? / America Under Seige: New World Order Coup D'Etat:
Oy vey, this one's a difficult one. In "Inalienable rights...", the poster uses a lot of big words and comes off as indecipherable to most anyone. In "America Under Seige", we see that someone has transcribed a silly theme song, and then a lady lawyer tells us about all the mysterious beatings that happen that the government sanctions and the media ignores. Because of this, we now must vote Libertarian, ignoring the fact that anyone who has a collegiate knowledge of economics and politics knows that there is no way anyone could keep all the promises made here.
[ERA: MIKE]
Jews for Jesus Brochures,
Part I and Part II:
This time out, Melvin attacks some unsolicited Jews For Jesus brochures
that he's received. He's more successful than most I've seen in avoiding
attacking the religion and sticking to attacking the horrible writing of
the brochure itself, but I'll have to caution the easily offended away
from this one, and disavow any responsibility for its content.
Shadows in the Mist:
Mike and the 'bots get a rest here as Torres, Kim and Paris of Voyager have to endure the bad fanfic this time. This one involves the crew of Star Trek: The Next Generation, beaming over to a ship shaped like a dog bone that has a theater showing B-movies in it. Sound familiar?
Awarded the Golden Hamdinger for "Best Non-Standard Misting"
(1997)
[ERA: VOY]
A Mock Time / Star Trek Meets The Three Little Pigs:
In "A Mock Time", a German fanfic writer decides to emulate (read: rip off) the old TOS episode "Amok Time" using the Voyager cast. Unfortunately, he realizes halfway through the parody that Voyager is nowhere near Vulcan. So instead, Tuvok unexplainably reprograms the Doctor to have pointy ears, and then proceeds to fail to kill Captain Janeway. Janeway is fairly understanding about this. In "Star Trek Meets The Three Little Pigs", Mike and the 'bots endure possibly the *stupidest* experiment yet, as the three little Starfleet officers (Wesley, Geordi and Data) build starships and starbases out of straw, sticks and tritanium pre-fab bricks, but are attacked by the "Big, Bad Borg". You have to check this one out folks, as words cannot express how truly stupid it is.
The TOOLS You Need To Get The Job Done... / Shadow Stepping:
Ok, first off, we have a spam for a CD offering "targeted email addresses" to advertisers looking to spam only a targeted audience. Basically, prime evil. Secondly, it's a Darkwing Duck fanfic in which Darkwing doesn't even appear. Launchpad is about to crash (again), but is rescued by an alien whom he flies around and flirts with until her father shows up and shoots him so he forgets about it. I hate when that happens. Also, Marrissa ends up on the satellite for this one!
[ERA: CASTLE]
ERA DESCRIPTIONS:
(Courtesy of Web Site Number 9)
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Last updated January 27th, 2008.
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