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Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2018 6:17 am
by SierraLea
The vending machine disappoints by giving you ice cream. It's orange sherbert with pineapple chunks, though.

Inserts a pen which, if clicked on and off five times in quick succession, will spill ink all over the person aggravating me.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Sat Jul 21, 2018 12:31 am
by Abassi
You receive a better pen, a deadlier pen, a pen from a Bond film. Use it wisely.

*inserts a cloak and dagger*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Sat Jul 21, 2018 10:11 am
by SierraLea
Receives Loki. Really, give me two shield agents and I'm going to go Marvel on you.

Inserts net and trident.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2018 2:06 am
by Abassi
You get--Hades, Lord of the Underworld! Whom or what were you expecting?

*inserts this whole migraine thing*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2018 3:12 pm
by SierraLea
receives the cause of them, that you promptly bludgeon to death. Ah, isn't revenge-driven destruction fun?

Inserts Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2018 11:02 am
by Abassi
You receive a hard copy of that bit where Mr. Rogers talks to that lovely lady what played the Wicked Witch of the West.

*inserts moving boxes*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2018 12:27 pm
by TheAlbinoMoose
receives a Jury Duty notice! Fun!

*inserts one of those little bouncey balls they have at Walmart that nobody buys but all of us played with as kids when we went to Walmart, then put right back afterwards*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2018 7:43 pm
by Abassi
You receive several disgruntled retail workers. Don't make eye contact, don't show fear! By heaven, don't show FEAR!!!

*inserts a resume*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2018 7:07 pm
by SierraLea
Receives a business card. To bad it's not from anywhere legitimate.

Inserts termite damage.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2018 11:30 am
by Abassi
But are they hiring? That's really the only question.

You receive a pink panther. Odd, but maybe it can sort the termites out somehow...

*inserts a mound of desert grasses*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2018 6:22 pm
by SierraLea
Receives a native american basket. It's got the loveliest zigzag pattern, too!

Inserts an armchair only two feet tall.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2018 7:17 pm
by Abassi
You receive a brownie! Not to be confused with a hob, though it may be rhymed with a knob.

*inserts a feline whisker*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2018 10:13 pm
by SierraLea
Receives a cougar. Don't. Run.

Inserts a bump in the night.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2018 9:42 am
by Abassi
You receive a wocket for your pocket.

*inserts debian linux*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 12:20 pm
by SierraLea
Receives the first Mac. Hopefully it's simpler.
Inserts half-baked cake. It's still oozing.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 9:33 am
by Abassi
With a "ding!" you receive a fully baked idea!

*inserts The End Times Times, a newspaper always headlined 'The End is Nigh!' Get your yearly subscription today!*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 11:00 am
by SierraLea
Receives "Logic for Dummies". Because if you even owned that paper in the first place, you need to take a course in reasoning.
Inserts three years of pining.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2018 11:08 pm
by Abassi
You receive a basset hound! Nothing accompanies pining better than a baleful hound!

*inserts the will to progress*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2018 9:24 am
by SierraLea
Receives the lackluster longing after the progress has been made. What's the next step?

Inserts an angry hippo goddess.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 12:40 am
by Abassi
You receive a handsome alligator with a feathered cap!

*inserts the odd hours of the morning*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 7:04 am
by SierraLea
Receives Insomnia. Because that is the only way you had those to insert in the first place.
Insert Tirimasu.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2018 1:59 pm
by Abassi
Aw man, now I have twice as much!

You receive boots of levitation! Now there's a *real* pick me up!

*inserts a metal filling*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Wed Sep 26, 2018 10:59 am
by SierraLea
Receives metal filings. Sorry, the filling got busted up by the internal cogs of the vending machine.
Inserts dark wash, deconstructed skinny jeans.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2018 11:44 pm
by Abassi
You receive a pair of genuine Renaissance trousers and a feathered hat! Truly THIS is fashion forward.

*inserts actual coinage*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 9:15 pm
by SierraLea
Receives a pack of skittles. Hey, if you're going to be boring...
Inserts lemon tart.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:32 pm
by Abassi
You receive the Queen of Hearts--OOOFF WITH YOUR HEAD!

*inserts the pack of skittles*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:54 am
by SierraLea
Receives a blinding flash in seven colors. Rainbow's gotta start somewhere.
Insert gestational diabetes.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2018 9:49 pm
by Abassi
You receive a rubber chicken. It's the best a vending machine can do given the circumstances.

*inserts a very small goat*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2018 8:00 am
by SierraLea
Receives a G.O.A.T. badge. I hear that's a thing nowadays.
Inserts wall covered in bugs.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2018 12:00 pm
by Abassi
I thought being called a goat was an insult!
You receive a highly skilled insect assassin, codename: C.A.T.

*inserts a steering wheel*