CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

I know this doesn't seem as important as those who are asking for prayers for loved ones and such, but I feel scared and alone right now. Anyways here goes:

A couple years ago I met a guy at work, where we worked together for about 6 months or so. In that time, he not only became a dear friend of mine, but he also led me to having a relationship with God. He quit work and ended up moving to Georgia and then to Dallas, where he eventually got my phone number from a mutual friend and we started texting back and forth. Before to long he asked me to be his girlfriend, and then his fiancee. of course I said yes to both, but we were going to keep the engagement a secret from my folks until after they met him (I want to do things "right" I guess. )

After we got engaged, though, we've been having a few small arguments about various things, such as how many kids to have (he wants a lot, I don't want anymore than 3). Anyways on the 12th of March, I suddenly stopped getting text messages from him. We didn't have a fight before then and we try to work out the issue as much as we can. I called his number and its disconnected, he's not responding to my emails or messages I leave him on twitter.

I've been praying to God that Jason (my fiance) will get in contact with me soon. Jason's been my life-line since we met and I've always been able to talk to him about anything. He's even willing to help me adopt my "daughter". I love him and would like to find out if he still cares for me...


Thanks

Melissa (AKA Cleanedbyblood)

Send a PM my way. This no communication thing is all too familiar to me right now. In the meantime, I'll be praying you get some answers soon.

Praying that you hear from him soon!

Praying.

Will be praying

I'm praying!

Update**

I just got a few pm's on twitter from Jason, and while he hasn't given me direct answers as to the loss of communication, I (being an optimist) feel that he will (even if I have to force it out of him!). All he really said to me was that it was he** I really hope this kinda thing doesn't happen again. I really really doubt I can handle it again but it did get me to pray to God more (I'm not good at praying )

Praying you learn to accept and submit to God's will, even (and especially) if His doesn't match your own.

It's pretty obvious that you care about this guy, and that is incredibly noble of you. But given his actions, have you considered that maybe someone who acts in this manner may not be the kind of person to settle down with? If he is going to just up and vanish on you shortly after and engagement, there is nothing that is going to keep him from doing the same if the two of you get married. Again, I understand your wanting to be an optimist, but also try to look at this from a practical point of view, it doesn't seem like he cared enough about you to stick around and he has certainly been willing to cause you pain. Not to tell you what you have to do, but maybe you should just let this guy go, because he seems like someone who will do nothing but hurt you.

I agree with Xeno 100%. As much as you really care about this guy and want to support him in a lifelong committed relationship, you really need to step back and take a look at the reality of the situation (without the optimistic lenses) and ask yourself if wanting this is indeed the right thing for you to do and consider the possible outcome that Xeno hinted at.

I shared my situation with you over private messages, and again this guy is almost exactly like what I've been dealing with currently. The vague answers when confronted with questions regarding this communication issue that came up. The unwillingness to lay all the cards out on the table and share with you what he feels about you and the possibility of getting married and starting a life together. I saw that in my situation and from your update, I see the same thing all over again with you and this guy. These are possible (if not outright) red flags and I encourage you to break away from this guy and seriously consider what's going on and if you're willing to live with this kind of communication block should he become your husband.

It's quite clear you care about this guy and have invested a lot in this relationship so far. But do you really want to spend your life with a guy who in the end doesn't take the relationship as seriously as you have? I made mistakes in this realm. For your own sake, don't make the same ones I did.

I don't want to sound like I'm trying to make my knowledge of anything important, but as young as I am, I've been through the same kind of deal. And no communication could indicate too many things. I'm not trying to crush you (it's not like I know about things in life to understand many things anyway), but there are many points that Xeno and K.Ayato made that I absolutely agree with.

However, I also don't want to rule out the possibility that something rough happened in your fiance's life and that it might have taken him away from contacting you. It is possible that a family member or friend of his or even he; went through a dire situation. In which case breaking up with him might be a mistake.

I'm praying that he tells you what was going on, and that God will give you the wisdom to discern what the truth and what His will is.

And on the note of you thinking you might not be able to take it if something happens between you and Jason, God will help you get through any situation. He loves you more then any human being on the planet could, and has a beautiful plan for your life. He knows who the right man is whether it's Jason, or someone different.

AdriTan wrote:However, I also don't want to rule out the possibility that something rough happened in your fiance's life and that it might have taken him away from contacting you. It is possible that a family member or friend of his or even he; went through a dire situation. In which case breaking up with him might be a mistake.

"Something rough happening" in her fiancé's life would be something he should be confiding about in her. It may cause some strain on their relationship due to the pressures it places on him over all, but it should not cause him to just detach completely and stop contacting her entirely. If the excuse is that, then he has deeper issues that need to be sorted out, and he clearly is not ready for the kind of relationship that leads to a marriage/long-term partnership.

Thanks everyone for the prayers, but I'm sad to say that they are no longer needed. On Saturday, I got a message from him on Twitter saying that he had found someone new and they were getting married next year and he was sorry for saying he loved me.

Thanks again everyone though

God Bless!

Sorry to hear that he did that to you, but the good thing is that you don't have to wonder if of when he will contact you again. You're free to move on from him now and get on with your life in whatever capacity you feel is necessary. Someone who acts like that doesn't deserve someone who will be as loyal as you seem to have been though.