LINES: 575 DIRK DANGEROUS, SPACE HERO An original serial by Dave "The Wizard" Hines Starsystem K11, Planet Kironius(K11 VI): Discovered in Spacedate 4211 by the Interstarship Antarctic, this barely class M planet was originally used as a "penal colony" of sorts for criminals considered "unreformable" by law enforcement. Former Interstellar Republic Marine General Gale Kiron (aka Kiron the Infamous) began a formal government after being imprisoned there for treason in 4293. K11 VI was granted independence in 4313 and renamed Kironius in Kiron's honor. Due to the harsh nature of the planet outside the protective domes, and the abundant lawlessness inside, travel is not recommened by the Interstellar Republic Travel Society. -- Bennett Intergalactic Informational Exchange The black grime crunched beneath her feet. She was wondering why she'd ever come to this godforsaken place. A brief image of her father passed before her eyes and she continued on. Not long ago, she'd been Iridiscia Dracoon, heiress apparent to the Dracoon fortune. Her father had built a corporate empire out of what started out electomagnetic curiosities and ended up Mega Drive. Her father had made into the 20 figures selling Mega Drive to the Republic and others, but 20 figures was not much in a galaxy where 7 figures was considered poverty level. It was enough for others to consider well worth any potential risks, however, and the money led to her father's kidnapping at the hands of a terrorist organization. She grimaced as she recalled those fools on the board of directors, many of whom wouldn't have a job without her father, refusing to pay the money. They'd claimed not wanting to give in to terrorism, but she knew better. She was approaching her destination after what seemed like endless walking through filthy streets while commoners hurled lewd propositions at her. "Kany's House O' Fem", the garish neon sign blinked at her, while others displayed "Females of every species, every age, even nonsentient!". She shuddered at the thought of the normal clientele of this place, but the man she was looking for was there only for ambience, so she had heard. No sooner had she entered the place, than some intoxicated, blue, 3 armed being approached her and made incomprehensible suggestions. She didn't understand the language, but she did understand the being's general gist. "Pardon me, I'm looking for -- Hey! Watch the hand, bucko!" "Kraaga Noi! Grito tu jerbes harko?" "Would you speak Standard by any chance?" "Shubertes fvagio gredo huna!" With that, the being began to grope her. "Hey! Hands off! I'm warning you, buddy!" She kicked the nearest of the beings five feet as hard as she could. "QUAAAAAAWWWWWGGGG!", bellowed the alien. Iridiscia tried to run, but with the alien's peculiar body construction, he was much faster than she. This is going to really hurt, thought Iridiscia. Look for Part II coming soon! DIRK DANGEROUS, SPACE HERO By Dave "The Wizard" Hines Part 2 Record 43JD21S1A423: Subject: Dangerous, Dirk Race: Human, Earth origin Arrests: 53 Indictments: 12 Convictions: 7, 2 Attempted Bribery, 2 Smuggling, Breaking and Entering, Resisting Arrest, Nonpayment for Rendered Service Outstanding Warrants: None Weapons Permits: J1231 Martin Gas Gun -- Tyler Police Data Network This is it, I'm done for, thought Iridiscia. "Excuse me," a voice said from behind the alien, "I don't think the lady is interested." "Grata bu? Vasea rata hudo grito!" The alien looked to the back of the bar, and called "Berea juto gopi budo!" 3 aliens, who bore a similarity towards the first joined him. "Puno quata grizaldi defno!" the alien yelled at the man. "You don't say...", the man drawled sarcastically. With that he pulled out a gun and shot something into a nearby chandelier-like light fixture. "VEVEVEVEVE!!!", the aliens laughed. Unfortunately for them, their laughing caused them not to notice the light fixture fall and temporarily immobilize them. "QUAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!", the frustrated aliens screamed. "Now would be a good time to leave, princess..." "Hey! Who are you calling princess?! And I can't leave, I'm trying to meet someone." "There are clubs better equipped for you to find a man, but for now, I'm assuming your life is more important to you.", with that he grabbed her arm and nearly dragged her out the door. "OWWW!! Hey, I need that arm! And for your information, I wasn't looking for... you know, I was looking for a man named Dirk Dangerous." "Well, you found him... or rather, he found you..." "Who?", she replied sarcastically, "The alien back there?" "No... me!" "Funny, you don't seem the space hero type." "It's the name... 'Dirk Dangerous, Librarian' just doesn't have a good ring to it." By this time, they'd reached the local spaceport. Dirk urged Iridiscia towards bay 252. When they reached there a decrepit looking ship awaited them. "This bucket of bolts?" "Hey... It's either this or walking..." Iridiscia saw the logic in this and boarded the ship. It looked even worse inside, with junk food wrappers, magazines with covers missing, and other garbage lying about the place. "Strap in back there, toots, here we go!" "My name is not 'toots'. I am Iridiscia-- whoooaaa..", Iridiscia was interrupted as the acceleration of the space ship pushed her back into her seat. "Iridiscia Whoa. Interesting name..." "My last name is not whoa, it's--" "Save it. I have work to do." "How dare you interrupt me?!" "Look. I gotta get the Mega Drive hooked up or we're space flotsam. Man the guns and keep them off our back." "I don't man guns." "Either learn fast or we're dead, since you can't hook up the Mega Drive." The aliens' ships arced towards them, with obviously 1 thing on their minds... destruction... Look for Part 3 when I finish it! DIRK DANGEROUS, SPACE HERO By Dave "The Wizard" Hines Part 3 Mega Drive: Sucessor to the old Kender Star Drive, the Dracoon Mega Drive is the modern way to travel in interstellar space. Where Star Drive dealt with C, Mega Drive deals with C squared. Invented in SD 4324 by Taurus Dracoon, now CEO of Dracoon Drives, Inc., it was first used by the Republic in 4330 and declared standard issue on Republic built ships, starting with the Wohlwend class ship in 4347. The average ship has a Mega Factor 6 drive. -- Brorby's Starship Guide "I'm telling you to man the guns! You can't connect the Mega Drive, I can!" "You have Mega Drive? Why didn't you say so? You man the guns, I'll connect the drive." "Really? Was this information in some woman's publication?" "If you would have let me finish, I would've told you I was Iridiscia Dracoon, daughter of Taurus Dracoon." Dirk recognized something in the name, and gave in. "Alright, just be quick about it." Dirk made his way towards the gunnery chair, brushed off some reading material, and sat down. He activated the chair, and the somewhat aged power systems came to life. A near miss rocked the ship, and Dirk sneered "My turn..." "Hey? You want to stop rocking this bird? I almost lost the spanner!" Dirk mumbled something half to himself, and bracketed the offending ship. He stitched a line of shots across the bow and the ship imploded in a satisfyingly pyrotechnic display. Dirk had to stop congratulating himself abruptly as he turned a hard right to evade a couple of shots. "Are you done yet?" "Keep your suit on! Just a couple more seconds!" Dirk's lapse in attention caused the ship to be hit. "What happened?", cried Iridiscia's voice. "Minor hit. No damage." "Shug! It's a wonder you haven't been destroyed up until now! OK, this thing's hooked up! I'm coming up!" "Don't bother! I've got to kick it in now. Buckle in!" Iridiscia mumbled to herself as she strapped herself into the passenger seat in the engineering section. She felt the press of acceleration, and thought it way too hard for the maximum speed of a ship of this class. They rocketed far away from their pursuers. "OK! All clear! You can come up if you want." Iridiscia took this half hearted invitation and came up to the control section of the ship. "Just how fast were you flying this deathtrap anyway? Some of those systems haven't seen overhaul in years it seems!" "First off, don't insult my ship. Second off, welcome to the Valkyrie's Envy. Formerly of the Iluvatar class, but modified enough by me that it's the first in the Dangerous class. Modifications include better weaponry, conversion of the pilot's quarters into an extended engine compartment, one of the reasons I sleep out here. And a better Mega Drive, capable of Mega Factor 14." "FOURTEEN?! Most of the new Wizardian class ships can't even go that fast!" "Yeah, I know. Wizardian class is vastly overrated. Now, why are you here?" Iridiscia told Dirk of how her father had been kidnapped. Dirk started to chuckle. "May I ask what you find so amusing?!" Iridiscia asked in a positively frozen tone of voice. "If I know old Taur, he's going to make those kidnappers wish they never took him. He never quite adjusted to playing rich man." Iridiscia chuckled at this herself. "OK, so now what are we going to do?" "You are returning to Earth, and I am going to go rescue your father..." "I'm afraid not. See, I tried just trusting people. First the law, then the board of directors. If that worked, I wouldn't have come to you in the first place." "Look... I'm not a babysitter..." "A babysitter?! We would have never made it off of Kironius if it hadn't been for me!" "I wouldn't have had to leave Kironius if it hadn't been for you!" "Fine, you want to leave my father, after all the times he saved your life, I'll do this myself." Dirk sighed. Females of every species could be exasperating at times. "Well? What's it going to be? Are you going to help me or not?" As if in answer, Dirk stood up, reached into a storage cabinet, and pulled out a weapon. Part 4 coming soon! Dirk Dangerous, Space Hero By Dave "The Wizard" Hines Part 4 J1231 Martin Gas Gun: As a result of the galactic nonviolence movement in 4225, Martin Weaponry released the J1211 Martin Gas Gun in 4230. It was succeeded in 4240 by the J1221, and in 4245 by the J1231 which is still the current version. The J1231 accomodates the following capsules: Knockout Gas, Compressed Atmosphere (enough to fill a cube 6 feet to a side of vacumn), Liquid Nitrogen, Nitrous Oxide, Sulphuric Acid (illegal on some planets), Narcotic (illegal), and Poison Gas (highly illegal) mong others. It is a good gun for those who don't want to kill someone. -- Brorby's Weaponry Guide Dirk casually aimed the gun, and fired. The holographic bullet streaked into Iridiscia's chest and dissipated. "I think you're supposed to fall down, dying, now." Iridiscia was visibly shaken. "Is that your idea of funny?" "See? This proves my point. You're too soft to be in the hostage rescue business." That did it. Iridiscia had had it up to here with this know-it-all space jockey. She aimed a back round kick at his head, and Dirk had to dive to the floor to avoid near decaptitation. "Hey! Whose side are you on?!" "'See? This proves my point. You're too soft to be in the hostage rescue business.'" mimicked Iridiscia. "OK. I give up. Except for one thing. You have to know how to shoot." Dirk activated the practice target. "Oh? You mean like this?" And with that, Iridiscia started firing dead on into the target. She registered 3rd Place on the High Score board just behind a couple of Dirk's best performances. "Was that good enough for you?" Dirk, who was doing a good imitation of a carp at this point, gulped and managed to reply, "Um... yeah... that's... um... adequate... I thought you said you said you couldn't use guns." "Ship's guns, no... but I'm not a total idiot. I am trained in small firearms. Survival skill these days." "Even in your income bracket?" Iridiscia sighed. "Yeah." Agreeing with him was easier. "So, where to?" "Where's your father's corporate offices?" "Alpha Nau VII. Why?" "That's our best lead. From what you've told me, if that board of directors is innocent, then I'm a jaded princess who's never known hardship in my life." Iridiscia sharply elbowed him in the rib cage as she set the course herself. "Hey! Who gave you permission to touch my controls?" "Stow it, Dirk. I know how to set a course." With that, the ship kicked into Mega Drive on the new course, and warped to its destination. As they kicked out of Mega Drive, a voice came on the radio "Aylo Diirrrk." Dirk smiled and answered the radio, "Nitrikal! Good to hear from you again, you old lizard! Any new jobs out there?" "Chuust one. Ay've been awdered to keel you. Say Gudbye, Diirrrk.", Nitrikal drawled as he shut down the connection. "Oh man, we're in deep wasteproduct now." "You do have interesting friends", said Iridiscia sarcastically. DIRK DANGEROUS, SPACE HERO By Dave "The Wizard" Hines Part 5 Iridiscium: Atomic Number 233, Discovered in 4192 by Herbert Roques, Iridiscium was named for it's diamond like qualities. It ranks as the fourth hardest substance known to man. It is the least expensive to purchase and refine of the top ten hardest substances. -- Bennett Intergalactic Informational Exchange BAWOOM! "What was that?", asked Iridiscia, "According to the screen here, he didn't come close to hitting us!" "Plasma bolt. Can you do evasive manuevers while I man the guns?" "Yes, I just can't man the guns myself. I thought plasma bolt guns were illegal!" "Oh, and bounty hunters suddenly have a concern for the law?", asked Dirk. Iridiscia seemed chastened as she brought the ship relative down to avoid a plasma bolt. Bawoom! "Good job, toots! That one wasn't as hard!" "My name is not 'toots'!" "I know. It's Iridiscia Whoa." Iridiscia sighed in response as Dirk powered up the gunnery chair. "Alright, lizard, my turn." Dirk said, fulfilling his heroic cliche quota for a while. Dirk carefully took aim and fired. No effect. Nitrikal's slimy voice came onto the radio, "Nawt Smawrt, Diirrkk. Biznuss haz beeen gud latly. Got Eeriedism awrmor on dis ting now" "Iridiscium?", said Iridiscia under her breath. "Dirk? Can you take over evasive from the chair? I have a plan!" "Great. My life depends on one of ditz princess's plans." a little louder he said "Sure thing. The guns are ineffectual on that stuff anyway." BAWOOM! Steadying herself against a nearby wall until the explosion ran out, Iridiscia ran aft to complete her plan. DIRK DANGEROUS, SPACE HERO By Dave "The Wizard" Hines Part 6 Antimatter: A principle of basic physics, antimatter is the only known source powerful enough to power a Dracoon Mega Drive, which normally carries 6 magnetic "bottles", but can run on just 1. It derives its power from a controlled intermix with normal matter. Uncontrolled intermixings result in catastrophic explosions with seemingly inconsequential amounts. Antimatter is the only known force that can penetrate Turbinium, Iridiscium, Frallium and Pornecium. -- Bennett Intergalactic Informational Exchange "Yu know, Diiirk. Thees is fun. I shud keel my old friends more often!" Dirk turned a hard starboard as another near miss rocked the ship. He muttered obscenities under his breath. BAWOOM! "Nitrikal, you slime! You don't know what friendship means! You'd sell out your own mother!" "Soo? What ees wrawng weeth that?" BAWOOM! Just then, Iridiscia ran back up the forward compartment. "Shug! Don't you know what 'evasive manuevers' mean?" "This is supposed to be your job! What were you doing back there? Powdering your nose?" Iridiscia ignored him. "Engage weaponry system B." "Weaponry system B?! I have no weaponry system B!" "You do now. Now shut up and be careful. You only have one shot. But hold while I make some preparations here." With that, Iridiscia began to program in the Mega Drive. "What the heck are you doing? He can outrun us, you know." "I know that. I'm engaging us for a short hop, that's all we'll need. Go in for a close broadsides." "Who put you in command here? This is my ship!" "And if you want to keep it from being your space flotsam, listen for a change!" Dirk's reply was interrupted before he started by another BAWOOM! Dirk saw no other alternative and went in for the close broadsides Iridiscia wanted. "Oh, cum awn, Diiirk! Mayke thees at leest a challenge!" "Steady... steady...", Iridsicia intoned. "I know how to fire", said Dirk in an annoyed voice. With that he drove the switch home, and Iridiscia temporarily engaged the Mega Drive. "AAAAAAWWWWRRRRR!!!!!!", screamed Nitrikal as his ship went up in a tremendous explosion. "Holy... what was that?", gulped Dirk in amazement. "Antimatter", came Iridiscia's reply, as if this were an everyday thing for her. "Loaded a bottle into the escape pod and crosscircuited the escape pod mechanism into the empty weaponry system B" "You made me blow my escape pod?! I had that thing perfectly tuned!" "I'll buy you a new one once we rescue my father." "Once we...?!", Dirk sputtered, "We have no escape pod now! If the ship goes, we're dead!" "Look. Can't be helped. Let's just land." Dirk brought the Valkrie's Envy down onto the surface of Alpha Nau VII, right outside the Dracoon corporate offices. "Who are we seeing here?" "Jason 'Buddy' Hernandez, executive VP" "OK. Now let me handle this. I'm good at this part." Dirk strode intensely into the corporate office level, past Hernandez's secretary. "Hey! You can't go in there!", protested the secretary. Dirk tried the door, found it was locked and fired a liquid nitrogen capsule at the knob. The frozen knob broke off instantly, revealing a plush office. "OK, Hernandez, you're going to tell us what we want to know." "Um... Dirk..." "Quiet. I can make sure this guy goes to lala land for the next few days if he doesn't cooperate." "Uh... Dirk... I really think this is important..." "What is it? It better be good!" Iridiscia simply pointed to a half dozen towering security guards, all armed. "Um... Yeah... this qualifies...", stammered Dirk Part 7 coming soon DIRK DANGEROUS, SPACE HERO By Dave "The Wizard" Hines Part 7 ALPHA NAU VII: As the name would indicate, Alpha Nau VII is the seventh planet in the binary Nau system, orbitting the primary star. This, in itself, makes the planet unusual, being one of the few class M planets located in a binary star system. It was found in the year 4330 by Marcus Nau (whom the system was named after) of the Church of Wyz. Half of the planet was then purchased by Dracoon Industries for the enormous solar energy potential of the planet. It remains the main headquarters for the Church. -- Bennett Intergalactic Informational Exchange "Ok, toots, stand back, I'll take care of this." "Um... Dirk...", ignoring his calling her toots for the time being. "Later", Dirk snapped. With that, Dirk whipped out his J1231 and went to fire at the nearest guard. The guard whipped it out of his hand easily, and threw it a good 10 feet behind. "Hey!", cried Dirk in a stupid sounding voice. He knew that gun might as well have been 10 miles away. He tried the only other tack he could think of, he punched the security guard as hard as he could. KRUNK! "Owwww!", cried Dirk in pain, luckily the hand wasn't broken. "Shug, that really hurt! What are these guys?" "That's what I was trying to tell you. They're Karagites." "Karagites?! What'd you go and let me do that for then?" "2 reasons. One, you wouldn't let me tell you, and two, it was pretty funny." "Iri?", said Hernandez, pronouncing it "eerie", "It is you! What are you doing here?" Dirk, for his part, nursed his hurt hand as he looked on. "You know this guy?", he demanded. "Sure. Buddy's been daddy's best friend ever since they started the company." "You could've told me all this, you know." "Yeah, I COULD'VE, but like I said, it was funny." Dirk just glared at her. "Security guards, you're dismissed! False alarm." "Yes, Mr. Hernandez", said the Karagites in an incredibly deep monotone. "Hey, don't I even get an apology?", Dirk called out as he picked up his gun. "Now, Iri, what can I do for you? You know we're very busy investigating your father's disappearance." "That's what we're doing ourselves. We need some information." "Well, there's not much information out there, we--" Hernandez was suddenly cut off as Dirk lifted him by his lapels. "OK, Hernandez, we know you know something. Talk!" "Dirk! Put him down!", cried Iridiscia. "You know, I can call back those security guards with just a push of a button.", Hernandez snidely reminded him. "Oh, really? Can you push the button over here?!", on the word "here", Dirk dragged Hernandez to the window and hung him out of it. "DIRK!" "Now, we just want to know one thing. Where was Taurus when he was kidnapped?" "H-H-Hopkins' World", Hernandez stuttered. "Thanks. Keep in touch.", Dirk said as he eased Hernandez back inside the window, and left. Iridiscia followed angrily. "Dirk! That was unnecessary! He would have cooperated!" "Maybe, but I just don't trust him." Meanwhile back in the office, Hernandez hit a button and barked "Mangra, intraplanet line!" "Yes, sir." came the response of the secretary. Hernandez punched in a code number he seemed to know by heart. "Yeah, they were here," Hernandez said with no preamble. "Are they on their way to Hopkins'" "Yeah, I sent them." "Good, we'll be waiting. You know what to do." Hernandez seemed to be sweating as the connection was broken. He pushed another button on his desk. "Security", the deep monotonic voice replied. "The two people that were just here, you are to let them go for now, but if they ever return, you are to kill them. No warning." "No warning, yes sir." Part 8 coming sometime this century DIRK DANGEROUS, SPACE HERO By Dave "The Wizard" Hines Part 8 Record JF32SD532E3F: Subject: Dracoon, Iridiscia Race: Human, Earth origin Arrests: 0 Indictments: 0 Convictions: 0 Outstanding Warrants: None Weapons Permits: None Note: Subject displays abnormal weapon talent for one of subject's social class -- Tyler Police Data Network "I still say you were a little rough on him." "I had a bad day. You let me punch a Karagite." "Yes, but that was funny." Dirk and Iridiscia bickered a little more, then the conversation faded for a few minutes. "OK, I have the Mega Drive set up, but with the distance of Hopkins' world, it's going to be a while. I'm going to take a nap. Wake me if anything happens." "SOME hero...", muttered Iridiscia under her breath. "Hmm? You say something?" "Who? Me? Never..." With that, Dirk settled down to sleep. Iridiscia ran a routine visual check over the panel, and settled back to think. FLASHBACK 1 "I swear, if I can't go to the Ionshift concert, I am going to mortalize, Daddy." Taurus chuckled inwardly, reminded of another youth he once knew. "Don't get so melodramatic, Iri... You're only 14." "Well, in Fradasian years, I'm twelve thousand, six hundred and forty eight..." "Yes, and in Fradasian years, I'm older than I want to contemplate. Well... you haven't started any major wars, so I guess so." and Taurus opened up his wallet, and gave a few credit notes to his daughter. "Do you want Ennasus to drive you down here?" "No, I can get a ride with Mybbie." "Ah, yes... I remember her. Poor girl has to go through life with the name of 'Molybdenum'." "Just don't mention that name around her, or she'll adren." "You and your friends seem to adren easily." "DADDY!" "OK, I'll stop teasing. Have fun at the concert..." "I will..." With that, Iridiscia left to go to the concert. "C'mon Mybbie, where are you?!" Iridiscia was fuming. Mybbie was supposed to be there hours ago. Iridiscia was sure she'd missed the first part of the concert already. A clattering sound attracted her attention. "Mybbie? Is that you?" Iridiscia looked towards the clattering shape. Her mind told her "gas grenade" just as she went unconcious. "Well, at least they released the other girl, Taur." "I suppose the other parents are grateful of that, Buddy, but I'd still like Iridiscia back." "You can't be considering capitulating to their demands!", said Jason Hernandez, aka Buddy, VP of the company, referring to the recent demand for 1,000,000,000,000,000 credits from the terrorists. "Of course I'm not. I know how terrorists are... we'll have to get her out another way." In the headquarters of the terrorists, the order came down: "Dracoon has not paid the ransom! Kill the girl!" Part 9 should be sooner than part 8 was. DIRK DANGEROUS, SPACE HERO By Dave "The Wizard" Hines Part 9 The Church of Wyz: Established in 3874, the Church of Wyz has grown to become the 34th most followed religion in the known galaxy. The basic doctrine of the Church of Wyz states that their god, known as "Wyz", created the universe for the entertainment of his fellow gods. In 3950, the church was taken over by the Nau Dynasty, and began a slow descent into evil. The Church of Wyz is recognized currently as a cult by the Republic. The Interstellar Republic Travel Society recommends avoiding the Church of Wyz at all costs, as they have shown no aversion from killing to accomplish their goals. -- Brorby's Guide to Religion "Kidnap the girl, then kill the girl. It seems so pointless." said the first guard. "Yeah, but 'For the greater glory of the Wyz' and all that." Both guards snickered. The catchphrase had been archaic for the last century. The "church" had been run more like a terrorist organization than a religion. "Y'know something, I bet they won't care what shape the girl is in, as long as she's dead." "What are you getting at?" "We haven't seen a woman around here for months now. What say we have a little... fun..." The second guard only smiled cruelly as visions of this sick plan went through their heads. They reached the door to Iridiscia's cell. "Oh, little girl," the first guard called, "time to play a little... hey! Where is she?!" The point soon became moot to the guard as young Iridiscia leaped down from the air vent she'd been holding onto. It was too small to escape through, but it made a good ambush setup. She focused her weight squarely on the head of the first guard, riving his skull to the floor. The guard sagged unconcious. These were guards in the duty considered least dangerous. They were no match for Iridiscia in the angered state she was in. Before the second one could react, Iridiscia caught him with a fist to the throat. As he gagged pathetically, she kneed him to the stomach, and rammed his head into the wall. She grabbed the handlasers and the keycards of the guards. In a bit of caprice, she locked the door and forcefield on them. "That's for making me miss the Ionshift concert!" Iridiscia fumed. It was time to settle this. She knew where the control room was from when she had originally been abducted. These goofballs had kidnapped her friend, but she knew Mybbie had been released. She headed for the control room with vengeance in her thoughts. Iridiscia stormed through the door. "Alright, you fallout rejects, petrify!" she screamed in her best "Holovision Cop" voice. The apparent leader turned around with a sneer on his face. "So our little heroine mounts a jailbreak. Too bad for you, though. Oh, boys..." A circle of hooded men with rifles surrounded the pair. "Shug!" sweared Iridiscia.