And now, KPLR AM 620 presents... the News!

In local news, Spiritual Emphasis Week kicks off this Monday in chapel. In
an exclusive interview copyrighted by this reporter, student Johnny
Dunderhead stated conclusively that Spiritual Emphasis Week obviously had
something to do with Casper, the friendly ghost. In a related notice, this
reporter is looking for a new person to interview. 

In national news, the Orenthal James Simpson trial winds down to its
closing arguments in Los Angeles. However, Simpson's attorney Johnnie
Cochran made a tactical mistake by donning a black wool cap in order to
make a point. Several eyewitnesses immediately identified him as the
murderer and Cochran has been sentenced to 20 years in Lompoc Federal
Penetentiary. 

This just handed to me... it says "Your fly is open." More on this story
later... 

In Sports news, twelve NFL football games are scheduled to be played
tomorrow. These games figure to involve a lot of passing, running and
people in striped shirts throwing yellow pieces of cloth. 

This has been KPLR AM 620 News. If you're not listening to KPLR, you're
listening to static.